Lehigh University:

One of the most memorable college experiences for a first year student is meeting new people…especially your roommate.   To help first year students take every advantage of their campus living experience, Susan Mead, Lehigh University’s Assistant Dean of Residence Life offers some roommate survival strategies to help with the college transition.

Communication
Make a great first impression! 
Moving into your shared living space can be stressful for you, your roommate and everyone else involved in helping you get settled.  If possible, try contacting your roommate prior to moving into your room.  
 
Characteristics
Assume nothing!
As you get to know your roommate, discuss your interests, habits, hobbies and preferences.

Creativity
Have fun setting up your room together!
Territorial issues occur when you or your roommate takes over the room.  If you arrive before your roommate, keep the other half of your room open, so your roommate feels welcome when s/he arrives.

Concerns
Share your pet peeves! 
We suggest that you get them out in the open asap.  For sensitive roommate concerns, seek out your Gryphon and/or Residence Life Coordinator to get an objective point of view and some feedback on how to handle your concerns. 

Compromise
Don’t be a bully or a doormat!
Roommate conflicts arise sooner or later.  We encourage you to assertively & tactfully work out disagreements together and come up with win-win solutions. 

Commitment
You don’t have to be best friends!
Neither you nor your roommate is perfect.  Positive roommate relations require a commitment towards working through the tough times as well as enjoying each other’s successes. 

Connections
Enjoy rather than annoy!
Branch out to meet other residents on your floor and throughout your residence hall.  Too much roommate time can grow tiresome.

Help, my roommate is driving me crazy!
The roommate relationship can be one of the best of college life, or one of the most irritating aspects, but it is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences. The best way to ensure that you have a successful living situation is COMMUNICATION. Initial and ongoing discussions with your roommate, where each of you shares your thoughts and feelings about your living situation, are essential.  Consider these tips to potentially ward off a roommate conflict:

Discuss important issues and establish rules.   If you can't study with music on, then come to an agreement about quiet hours. If they like to have lots of friends in the room all the time, and you don't, make a schedule so that you can both enjoy the room at different times. If your roommate would rather you didn't study with the light on when they’re trying to sleep, they should tell you. If you make house rules, and communicate openly and often, you can avoid unpleasant surprises down the road.

Be respectful.   Successful roommate relationships are based on mutual respect. If your roommate doesn't like anyone borrowing their clothes, respect their wishes. If you don't like music on while you're studying, they should respect your wishes too.

Be willing to compromise.   You and your roommate may not agree on everything, but you both will need to compromise every now and then. If you're a slob and they’re a neat freak, take responsibility for cleaning up and keeping the areas of the room you share tidy. And they should try to be flexible and realize your unmade bed doesn't affect them.

Be courteous.   Courtesy is contagious. If you are polite to your roommate, they will likely follow your lead. Take messages when people call for them. Wish each other luck on exams.  Offer to pick up items for your roommate you're running errands. Finally, ask before borrowing their belongings.

Consider these tips when your roommate is difficult:

• Make sure you have all the facts straight and have a solution in mind.
• Avoid checking with other residents on the floor before you talk to your roommate.  Speak only for yourself.
• Try and separate yourself from any anger. You may get better results by remaining calm and rational.  Anger may just make the situation worse.
• Make sure you are prepared to discuss criticism aimed back at you.  
• Be assertive. The longer you wait to address your concerns, the worse it may become.
• Anticipate a defensiveness reaction, even after the confrontation. Give your roommate time to think about your concerns.
• Keep in mind that your roommate deserves to be heard.  By listening to your roommate’s point of view you can better understand and resolve conflicts together.
• Don’t assume a “victim” mentality – it is within your control to address the situation and take action. Inaction is an option but then you must accept the consequences of avoidance.
  If you have tried all these methods and have had no luck, contact residence life staff to help initiate a mediation session.